For the best time of life, I dedicate this letter to everyone that is struggling to overcome, that has overcome but still falls back inaccuracy. Those that draws strength from the wrong places, those that cry at night before sleep, those that go on like all is well, smile at us and deep down there is pain and anger.
I came from a life of selfish ambitions, ineptitude and indifference. If you know how darken my heart has become, an expressionless-ness, dissipated by lack of motivation, callously shaped by lack of evidence and dark edges.
Don’t get me wrong, I have been lucky, at a young age, I had a diplomatic passport, I have been to places, spoken to top government policy makers, it was an honour, BUT.
What about my loss of self discovery, purpose of living, what do I really want out of life, who am I?
I could not answer many life questions, and if those questions remain unanswered, life become more meaningless, I embrace the future fearlessly but with vagueness.
My personality requires I see evidence in everything. Don’t talk to me about religion: if you lack it, don’t preach it, if you don’t have it why tell me to own it. I was looking for the end to things.
Larry King said he is not an atheist and he is not a Christian, he falls within the category of people that think they dropped into life. Always asking questions.
Things will only grow from bad to worse, when you have money to feed, if you can travel to places you think happiness can be found, buy yourself things that will melodify your heart for a time, if you find a lady you think will quench you fleshy needs.
WE ALL THINK THIS IS WHAT HAPPINESS IS ALL ABOUT.
Do you wake up and look around the emptiness that is around you. Do you fall back to sin and you wish life could be taken out of you. How many bottles have you drank to forget about it.
When I used to inhale death, I did a packet, almost every day, taking in suicidal smoke destroying my heart. How many do you still take in day to calm yourself. You are in that abusive relationship and you cannot get out because you love her/him.
How many times have you gone on fasting and praying with tears in search for answers.
Have you cut yourself with sharp objects so that you can forgive him. Did you almost drink that poison, acid because you feel trapped.
Every night the nightmares keeps coming, you are tired. Next time you slept with him you felt like half human, crying to God again for forgiveness…
I don’t mean to count all our sins and fears, no, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad again, no, I did not mean to make you remember again no.
3 years ago I made a decision, in my one room apartment. I entered my sitting room, lock the door. I just came in from work, I looked around me again and again.
As usual, I wanted to strike the lighter and inhale that suicidal smoke again. I said to myself, “don’t i deserve a better life”
God placed a thought in my heart, I knew it was Him.
I answered the question, “yes I deserve I better life”
But I need strength, I need love, I need joy, I need answers, I need happiness, I need security, I need faith.
I told God if you can help me drop this habits and you can give me all these needs I will be yours.
All the answers will not come once, but gradually as you dwell on Gods word, you find answers, to many questions.
We need a personal relationship with God, you need to find a place with God where you can draw strength and wisdom.
Accept Christ as your saviour, rededicate your life to him, you do not need a pastor to do this, it is a personal commitment.
God loves you, He does with everything.
EPHESIANS 1:7 In Him we have redemption (deliverance and salvation) through His blood, the remission (forgiveness) of our offenses (shortcomings and trespasses), in accordance with the riches and the generosity of His gracious favor
He will turn all things round, this is my testimony of happiness.
Everything, every other things, your job, marriage, lifestyle, will be cared for.
Some prayers don’t get answers as at when you want them but they will be answered later, go to His word and get answers, get insights, get inspiration, get wisdom for daily living.
I encourage you to read EPHESIANS 1. Read first with the King James version and Amplified, and other versions, read over again and understand that, God has called you for His purpose, a purpose of wisdom and peace and inheritance for a fruitful living.
Gradually, you will see improvement as you dedicate your daily living to him, your mind will be renewed, your thoughts will be like freshwater, your mind will be springing with great ideas and you will marvel.
Whenever you fall back, your mind will tells you to go back to God, ideas on how to improve your marriage will spring out, your mind will not be settled for the bottom anymore, you will be elevated.
My years of life rededicated to God, I can only say, God deserve all the praise. The life I live now cannot be bought with money or things.
Galatians 2:20 I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
I see many young people troubled, in search for answers. I will love you to understand that this works, God works, Jesus works, dedicate your life to Him.
You will find happiness and joy.
Don’t you deserve a better life?